200707051259快樂，因為你在
時間，不在於療傷，即使事過境遷之後，悲傷依然無法消除，但是快樂可以增加．
"How do you like DC so far?"
每當新認識一個人，知道我是外來客之後，總會問我這句話，而我也總是很誠實的給予他否定的答案．
"Why?"
但這時我卻又無法坦承相對了，每每都用破英文草率的以這裡跟台北或紐約比起來不甚有趣之類的話帶過，反正這個人也只是隨口問問，再見面或再對話也不知道是哪一年的事了，就隨便講講吧．
我也不想這麼負面，我也想開心的說"I love my life!"，我不是真心的不喜歡，而是我無法真心喜歡．
其實仔細想想，DC的環境真的不錯，乾淨安全，房間的百葉窗一打開，所有的景點就映入眼簾，下午可以看夕陽，寫報告寫到早上還可以欣賞日出，聽起來還真不賴，可是，就是少了，遺失了．
這一年來，我努力開心的笑，想把愁眉苦臉都拋開，可是快樂總是一去不回頭．我不知道我在做什麼，或許我知道，只是不知道這麼做的目的是什麼，為什麼要這麼做，值得嗎？
無數的嘆氣，眼淚加上碎碎念也喚不回過去，喚不回失去的愛，情還有信任，也彌補不了遺憾．我知道我在縮，在躲，在逃，在避，但是當生命中一個大牽絆已經離去並且永遠不會再回來時，我真的空了．
還是天真的希望能有時光機器，需要尋回的時間與故事太多，需要再一次的機會也數不清，人們總是在遙想過去，希望未來一片美好，而輕易忘記當初是如何找尋快樂的．
P.S. 我還是想練胸口碎大石．
My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful,
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
cos ill never be with you
Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
you're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
cos ill never be with you
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.
