201503020926好名字

 

(一) 好名字 good name

 

 

 

 

 

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好名字 good name ──

 

幾個朋友要合資開一家公司,為了讓顧客有信心,特別取名「能力」!

 

嗯!「能力公司」聽起來頗有氣勢,真是個好名字!大家都同意的說。

 

他們興高彩烈的申請營業執照,等到拿回來後,卻全都傻眼了,只見上面大大的寫著:

 

「能力有限公司」。

 

 

 

Good name

 

 

Several good friends put their money together want to open up a company; they were thinking to give their company a good name.In order to let their customers to have confidence with them, they decided to name their company “Ability”.

 

 

“Ability”, it sounds a good name! Everybody agreed.

 

 

They were very happy to apply for a business license.After the business license issued to them, they all amazed and staring at each other.They looked at the license, it has a big headline reads:

 

 

“Ability Limited Company”

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

 

 

(二)  躲開臭屁  to shun fart

 

 

 

阿呆不是很聰明,有天他坐在椅子上,突然想放屁。

 

他想不要聞到他放的屁,他就站到椅子上,想把屁放得高一點,這樣就不會聞到屁了,他想。

 

結果他一坐下來,剛好聞到他的屁!

 

 to shun fart -----

 

 

 

 

 

Joshua is not very smart, one day when he was seating on his chair, he felt he is going to make a fart.

 

 

In order not to smell his own fart, he decided to stand up on his chair to make his fart higher in the air, so he won’t smell his own fart.

 

 

But after he made fart and sat down, he caught the smell of his fart just right!

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

 

 

(三)  如何切餅  How to cut the pie?

 

 

 

媽媽:小呆,你的月餅要切成幾塊?四塊,還是八塊?

 

小呆:四塊好了,我怕切成八塊太多了吃不完。

 

 

 

 

 

How to cut the pie?

 

 

 

Mom: kid, how do you like your pie being cut? Would you like me to cut it four pieces or eight pieces for you?

 

 

Joshua: well, I think cut it four pieces, eight pieces will be too many I can’t eat that much.

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

 

 

(四 )  不犯法的騙錢術──

 

 

 

某人開車旅行,在臨界喬治亞州旁的加油站上看到一幅廣告,「前行兩哩即為喬治亞州,朋友,記得加油!切勿錯过此處每加侖汽油三塊錢的最後機會。」

 

這人趕緊加滿油。

 

付帳時,他好奇的問店員:「如果到了喬治亞州那邊,一加侖汽油要多少錢?」

 

店員神色自若的回答他:「兩塊錢。」

 

 

 

 

 

Swindle people’s money without breaking the law ---

 

 

 

A guy was driving on the highway, when he was about to reach the border of Georgia, he saw an advertisement that reads: Two miles to Georgia, remember to fill up your gas tank friend! Don’t miss the last opportunity of one gallon for three dollars!

 

 

So the guy filled up his gas tank.

 

 

When he was paying his money, he asked the oilman: By the way, how many dollars for one gallon in Georgia?

 

 

The oilman said: two dollars.

 

 

 

***********

 (五) 心理醫生  Psychiatrist

 

 

 

阿呆:你們心理醫生都是怎麼診斷病人的呢?

 

醫師:我都先問病人一些簡單的問題如果他們會猶豫的話,我大概就知道了。

 

阿呆:你能不能擧些例子看看?

 

醫師:比如說,庫克船長曾環遊世界三次,不幸在其中的一次去逝了,請問是哪一次?

 

阿呆猶豫了一下,有點困窘的說:我對歷史不太熟,你能不能擧別的例子?

 

 

 

 

 

Joshua: How do you psychiatrist to diagnoses a patient? How do you know the patient has problems?

 

 

Psychiatrist: I usually ask the patients some simple questions, and if he hesitated to answer me, then I would know what’s his problem. “

 

 

Joshua: Oh yes? Can you give me an example?

 

 

Psychiatrist: Ok, For example: The captain Chuck had sailing around the world for three times, unfortunately he died in one of those times, can you tell me, which time he died?

 

Joshua hesitated for a while and said: My history lesson is not very good, can you give me another example? “

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

 

 

(六)  南腔北調  Dialect

 

 

 

軍眷村裡,有從大陸東南西北各省來的人聚集在一起,因此在語言上,南腔北調都有。

 

 

 

有一天晚上,張先生到隔壁的李先生家去,一進門見他們家好昏暗。

 

 

 

張先生: 你們家的「叮」怎麼了?

 

李先生: 什麼「叮」?

 

張先生指著天花板上的「燈」說: 那個「叮」啊。

 

李先生: 啊!那個不叫「叮」,那個叫「噹」!

 

 

 

Dialect

 

 

 

 

 

In Taiwan’s military compound, there are all kinds people from every province of China, There for they have all kinds dialect.

 

 

 

One night Mr. Chung went to his neighbor Mr. Lee’s home. When he entered Mr. Lee’s home, he found their home was very dark.

 

 

 

Mr. Chung: What’s happen to your “ding”?

 

 

Mr. Lee: What “ding”?

 

 

Mr. Chung pointed to the light ball on the ceiling said: that “ding”

 

 

Mr. Lee: Oh! That, we call it “dong”

 

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