2本- 英語活起來。DK發音朗讀全改造

Oh, I am a "boss".

從高中起，我到任何地方買東西，店員都會叫我一聲「帥哥～你要什麼～」，當然，有時店家不那麼狗腿得話，也會說「先生～你的餐點好了」 。
Since high school, wherever I shopped, I would hear "Can I  help you, MAJOR DUDE?" At times, I'd hear " Your meal's ready, SIR." if the shopowner was not flattering me.

不過，店員往往也會叫別的客人「帥哥～」，常常我頭一側，看到的只是一個平凡男子，呵～所以，我並不會像九把刀寫的短篇小說「原來我不帥」的男主角，被叫帥哥就覺得飄飄然，或覺得自己真的是帥哥，我十分明白那只是店家對客人的一種恭維罷了～
Of course, shopowners would also call other customers "Major dude". Often times, I turned around and saw a plain, ordinary guy, and I realized that was merely a compliment. I wouldn't really think I am a hunk, a dude, a fox... like the main character feels about himself in the novelette by a popular writer, Nine nives.

不過，這樣的稱呼聽這麼多年，也頗習慣了。
After many years, however, I am quite used to it.

另一種恭維就不太敢恭維了。
There came a differnt compliment I'd never had.

這幾年來，「帥哥」的稱呼在我耳際顯然變少了，取而代之的是「頭家」，十次有八次，麵店老闆娘、便當店店員..小販.....連眼睛都沒抬起來直視我一眼，就直接叫：
In recent years, the tittle "major dude" has been gradually replaced by "boss". Nine times out of ten,  the boss lady from the noodles shop, the clerk standing at the cash register greeted me saying, "How can I help you, boss?" without even lifting his/her chin.

「頭家（老闆）～你要什麼？」
"May I help you, boss?

「頭家～你的炸雞腿便當好了」
"Boss, your boxed lunch with a fried chicken leg's ready."

這也頭家～那也頭家～閉上你的嘴好嗎?＞＜
Boss this. Boss that. Just shut up, will you?

當然，店員往往也會叫別的客人「頭家～」，常常我頭一側，看到的不是一個腦滿腸肥的歐几桑，就是一個帶孫子的老阿公。原來我也是同一等級的了。
Of couse, those shopowners or clerks call other customers "boss" too. Often times, I turn around and see a stout, potbelly, fiftiesh, sixtiesh man or a grandpa with his grandson. Oh, I didn't realize I am one of them.

不過你可能會說，反正大家都叫「頭家」又沒差，你錯了～後方近來的客人，店家又改口叫「帥哥」了，連背書包的國中、國小學生都被「帥哥」稱呼搞得暗爽又羞赧，呵～
You'd probably think it doesn't make any difference if everybody's called the same tittle "boss". No, no, no. customers coming in later are getting a different tittle-"major dude", which I used to own. Haha~

剛開始，我對這樣的稱謂還蠻不習慣的，一方面自己並非一個事業有成的「頭家」，也還不到豬腦肥腸、滿臉橫肉的老闆樣；不過，台灣人愛這樣亂叫其實也沒有什麼惡意，也不能突兀地糾正人家。
I couldn't adapt to the tittle "boss" when I first heard it used on me. I am not a real boss owning shops,  companies...Nor am I a guy with a sagging potbelly. I know Taiwanese actually mean well by calling someone "boss". I can not correct them and put both parties on the spot.

我們還是要學著誠實的面對自己從「帥哥」淪為「頭家」 ，呵～
I can not but confront the reality where I was downgraded from "major dude" to "boss" and learn to like the tittle "boss". Ha.

不過根據我的觀察，會叫人「頭家」的地方，都是一些傳統店家或小店，也就是說，沒有經過什麼「顧客服務訓練」，所以就隨變亂叫，那...我以後就乾脆盡量去像麥當勞、摩斯、Fridays、百貨公司....etc.就可以避開這個討人厭的稱呼啦～
From my observation, only those people working in the traditional shops call customers "Boss~", which means they get no training of customer service. They just call whatever comes to their minds. Alright, I might as well go to places like McDonals, Mos, Fridays, department stores...etc..to get away from the tittle that I hate.

也不對～記得有一次Sogo新館的小姐看我一靠近專櫃，就立刻叫我「頭家～看看喔～」，我硬擠出點笑，然後，找個明亮的鏡子照照自己到底有多像「頭家」，呵！
Wait a minute. That's not right. I remember, one time, I was in the new building of Sogo, this saleswoman greeted me saying, " Hello~Boss. Have a look over here." when I passed her display counter. I faked a smile back, turned away looking for a big piece of mirror, and looked in it how on earth I looked like a BOSS.

台灣人或許叫得無心，或許自以為是恭維別人，但是，「頭家」這詞就等於是在界定一個人的體型、外表和年紀，這和客人真正的職稱及社會地位一點關係也沒有。
Taiwanese might use the tittle carelessly, or they might think it's a compliment, but the term "boss" seems to define someone's physique, appearance, age.... and it's got nothing to do with the person's real job tittle and social status.

何不叫中性詞「先生～」就好了啊?! 沒創意但很尊重～
Whay not just use the neutral term "Mr." or "Sir", with no innovation, but with due respect.

換成對女性客人的稱呼，最好也別隨便亂叫人「大姐～」「阿姨～」「老闆娘～」，包準你會氣走一堆，自認保養有方、不服大自然變化的師奶、熟女，哈～
In the case of addressing a female customer, you don't want to get a punch and see her storm out of your shop by calling her " Oldest sister~", "Aunty~" or "Lady boss~". There are more and more single women who appear younger than they really are do not appreciate getting those tittles.

有時我在想，在英語世界怎麼沒有人叫客人是「Boss～ 」呢～
Sometimes I can not but wonder, why there's no one in the English world calling customers "Boss~".