不想睡覺, 我想我在很多篇 日記 裏都有聲稱過自己不想睡覺

(繼續閱讀)

i know it's no use to muer muer here towards my brother's girlfriend

is that really dating an event between only 2 person?

i want to tease them

for their immature, for their pretending of being the saint of love, for her impolitenes to my mother, for her self-fishness

i understand now that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law's conflicit sometimes is a must

i really want to laugh, powerlessly, for they are so naive to be trapped in the fake romantic world that created delibrately

that really make me sick! 

55555555555555555555555......................................................

I don't want to go to work r

so big wind and rain

all sch closed,

U is a sch,

so U should be closed

but i m not a student anymore....

好想入戲院睇戲

但是, 無論是上映新片, 還是不日放映

都沒有一套有一滴想看的感覺

真是一滴都沒有

'怎麼現在想看電影都這麼困難'

人畢竟是作繭自縛的生物

本性如此, 要改也改不掉

甚至困在繭內沾沾自喜讚賞自己的豁然

****

隱藏的意思和感覺,

如果有一天看了, 卻已不再明白

可能就是放下的時候

這個世界總有些垃圾渣滓

惡客講價不成 毆劫的士司機 旺角往西貢 200元變50元 (明報) 06月 16日 星期一 05:10AM

I often slept late

this was not a big news

these days, however, I slept even much much later

suddenly found out my 2004 schedule, 4 years ago. It still looked new

and unconsciuosly I juz want to say this schedule is juz 2 years old

Time juz seemed not going fast, 2004 is just yesterday

4 years ago 15 June, I finished my form 6 econ examination and it is a fullstop of the form 6 life and the opening of the unforgetable form 7 year

---------

dun want to sleep

coz I know when I opened my eyes the next morning

It would be another day

that I want to escape

or may be I should open the word file and start typing those words down

----------

and suddenly, I thought of U

how many years haven't I talk to you

Do I miss you? but what could I miss?

our fragile friendship?

everything was smashed long before that big quarrel, when I started to not believe in you

but those scandle

I tried to find u, but when I transferred my phone book in the mobile, it's gone

u used to be the no.1 person in the list, but what left now in the list are those in the middle

that may be a hint from the above

..

I think of U sometime

is that becoz I owe u a 'sorry'?

This few days I am busying with several tasks as requested by my boss.

Although he has tried to give me several tasks at different times and disrupted my plans for several times, I apreciate the workload and the multi-tasking.

I am really satisfied I can finish those things at a not slow speed and I have finished all those tasks now

it is really really really satisfied!

If that is my own work, and required only my sole responsibility, I would very very probably delayed and procrastinated it until the deadline.

But here every day, I just want to finish all my work far before the deadlines and enjoy all the free and luxary freedom until I off my work!

I become so diligent now, wahaha!

I now learn to enjoy the delayed gratification!

讀心理學的人最討厭人家問的問題：

你讀心理學ga? yee? 咁你咪知道我而家諗緊咩lor?

讀社會學ge人最憎人問ge問題係:

你讀社會學ga? 咁你之後係咪諗住做社工r?

聽晚就要去飲la, 可能會見到一d 10年都唔會見的親戚

已經預左聽晚會同r妹會勁比人問呢2個問題

通常有兩類人：

一類係問完之後好留心咁聽你ge解釋, 但只係hear, 唔係listen, 之後佢地會唔記得, 下次見到時會再問你;或者唔係唔記得, 而係無入過腦

另一類係未等你答就已經自以為是地回答自己的問題

這時, 我會有3個選擇:

a. 微笑不置可否

b. 拆穿佢

c. 問佢聽邊個講ge, 然後對佢循循善誘

如果揀c, 佢地通就會變返第一類人

而無論我揀邊個, 通常結果都係對方以尷尬的笑容, 倖倖然地離開

雖然唔知會點, 但係

我地決定 如果聽晚有人咁問

我地會先立即交換一個意味深長ge微笑~

these few days were flooded by the news of the earthquake

different charities and organizations try hard to use all kinds of method to help

seeing all those tears and feeling the heartbeats in my heart

seeing all those orphans and the people losing their loved ones,

may be 3 years of psychology and the counseling experiences can offer some help  

many ppl think that i have a good family, woth harmonious relationship

to a certain extent this is correct 

I have a good relationship with my father, my sister, my brother

but i never had a good realtionship with my mother

i dun know why

she always blame me my fault committed more than 10 years ago

the image and the feelings she held for me is the one that is naughty, selfish and lazy

this is indeed a schema and a stubborn stereotype

all of my stereotypic consistent behaviors are remembered by her even it is minor

all the stereotypic inconsistent behaviors are always filtered and ignored by her

all of my hard work in begging her to believe me and be tender to me is in vein always

she always made up and scripted my behaviors that i have never done and spoken

she always blame me by saying that 'don't u think that u are powerful as u are a university student. now u do not have money and u are like this. If u have money, then I would be thrown by u to the street', 'I have been trying hard to take care of u and brought u up for these 20 years. Of course, I didn't use any money on u coz the money is earned by your father! u must be thinking like this'

O! till the end of the world I didn't and I won't say and think like this! but she always interpret my behaviors as having bad intentions, even I m doing sth good!

what did i do? why did she hate me?

I can never 'talk' to her. fvtime i try to communicate with her, even if it is a joke. we'll end up in unhappiness and she would definitely misunderstand my words and meanings

and I have no way to explain as she closed her ears always

it is really difficult for me to not respond when she 'imposed' all those unreal things to me

i try to keep all those temper with myself when she kept on saying those things on me

fvthing is fine if i can zip up my lips and tie up my tongue and wait for her to get tired and stop talking

but at a point, I really can't withstand and so I 'reply' and 'debate' with her

so now fvthing gone the worst

this may be the coldest point we have these 20 years!